I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
