I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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