let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
