its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
