fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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