just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Houston, we have a squirter
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
