But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
