Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
