apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
