The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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