Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
