Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
