I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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