Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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