i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize