At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize