the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize