yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
