I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
