I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
