Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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