So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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