well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
