it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
3pm strippers are depressing
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
