wrigley field is MILF paradise
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
