I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
