I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
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