We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
