i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
