he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
bring money and cleavage
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
