but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
