If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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