somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
