I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
