Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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