I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
