before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
