My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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