I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
