He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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