omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have aggressive nipples.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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