I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
