i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What a dumb baby whore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
