Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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