I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
