Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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