great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
