Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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