you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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