so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
