the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I am available for nakedness
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