Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
