so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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