Dual....:-)
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
that may or may not have been my penis.
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