Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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