if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
cat food counts as protein by the way
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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