We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
